I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
