Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
