I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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