I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
