Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
