how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
