Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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