i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
