I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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