Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
