I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My feet surprised me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
