Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
