she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just found puke in my bra..
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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