I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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