You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
