Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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