What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
