Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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