you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
