Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
