Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you would pick up someone in the library
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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