OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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