when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
