I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
