After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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