Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
