I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
