the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
