the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
