She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
When did angry sex become our thing?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
