If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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