Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
