3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
