i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
