I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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