Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
