he wants to bone in the snuggie
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
