dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
