btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
After tacos, we're chasing women.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
