If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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