and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
