dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
