the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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