I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
