There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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