So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
