I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
