That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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