i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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