drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
