Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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