The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
